do i LOVE you?

hey guys! how did the first week of 2011 tasted like? bet i'll get some really weird flavours!!! lolx! anyway, whatever the flavour is remember, if its bitter or sour or spicy or even salty, theres always honey! something sweet for everyone!

today the lecturers were asking us what did we do during the holidays and what have we learnt. well, that's what almost everyone experience after meeting them like a month and half ago for the sem break. and so, it came to me...

briefly, this was what i had in mind~

expressing the phrase " I Love You" is more than just you loving the person. now and then, we see youngters especially those of the age where they find puppy love as being true love or even something that is true or in other words, heavenly. not that i am a pessimistic or cold hearted, but do ask this yourself.

what do you know about love? messaging one another day to night till your credit is way beyond imaginable, or even saying "good morning" "good evening" "good night", n all those greetings like a tape recorder that never fails to do his/her task is just something that i might consider as...

"do i need that to prove love?"

come on, of course, i am in no position to tell you things or make things work the way i wish but why pollute the word when you do not even understand the meaning itself? you like a person at first sight. you find him or her compatible with you and as "the one". you make contacts. you date. you buy gifts. you spend time with one another regardless of what is happening around. you fight. you apologize. you get together. you spend more time. you quarrel. and you finally call it an end.

being a scenario that almost everyone has experienced or even seen before their eyes, i do not blame them. it is a way of growing up and searching your identity. but when you express the I.L.Y. phrase as a daily quote or reminder to the other person, where has that value gone to? where has the true precious power of that phrase gone to? where have you gone to in that phrase?

to think it over, being in love is something beautiful, powerful and exclusive. only the ones who know it by heart and mind will be able to express the phrase as one meaning. youth of today see things in much of a different and many ways where one could ever think off, and due to this, the phrase itself has lost its identity.

i am not saying that it is unnecessary to recite the phrase to the person whom you feel necessary to or even discouraging one to not to do so, but bear in mind that once the phrase is spoken out, it must only come from the heart within and therefore it should last.

divorces. abuses. fear. insecurity. trauma. tortures. separation.

it is funny and even hilarious seeing people of so much experience, age, knowledge and even duties as well as responsibilities get slummed into such acts and moods. at one time ago LOVE was all in the air, and it was LOVE that kept you going. but today, where has that word gone to? where has it disappear to?

is LOVE to be  blamed for not being able to deliver the power it contains?
or is it us to be blamed for polluting the word with countless expressions that just meant a simple adoration or liking?

a faded aura can do little to an enormous space yet we keep hold on to it to the last bit believing that it shall regain its utter most energy healing all in those in ill.

quiet. silence. thoughts of various minds.

a brand new year

it is a brand new year...

let alone the year of the roaring tiger and welcome to year of the gentle rabbit!

may all your new year resolutions are achieved and may this year bring even more properity and happiness.

after all happiness shall bring in harmony and peace as well as laughter and properity shall bring in good health, wealth as well as good lucks!

 

time after time

now it has been quite of a time since i actually blogged. well, there were a lot of things and events took place. not bing able to blog, i was tied down, in fact chained with big thick silver chains to various commitments. semester  ended. it was so quick that i actually did not realise it has. sem 1 in the path of becoming an educatort is just another a mile stone towards another 10 sems to come! well that includes another one year of foundation and continued by 4 years of degree. haiz, i guess this is the price if you really wanna achieve something in this land of mankind~

STPM is choking me up and i could throw up at any moment. the fact is since i got this degree offer, only at the age of 19, when i was in my upper 6, the teachers were saying that it would be better if i could return for the exam. knowing of my performance in school, they tough i had a big advantage as well as a potential in acing them. not to boast, but i guess that is how teachers actually nail you to the chair for another leap of commitment. so i agreed. sem 1 ended on d 19th n i took home. on the 23rd was my first paper. and so far, everything went all well indeed. well, the well as in well not so good and quite bad i would say. after all, this is like any other exam. i mean, knowing that it is some world's 3rd toughest exam and you're doing it with only a week plus of last minute studying, i guess that is an achievement and a compliment! in god's grace, lets hope that i make it through without ending up throwing out! 

both my cousins were engaged and married. well one actually. the other was jus an engagement. their wedding is due next year. happy married life to the other one and happy engaged life to this. now, if this thing is confusing you, let me lay it out to you. cousin A is engaged and married. cousin B is engaged and the marriage will be at the end of next year. marriage is indeed a lifetime commitment. the moment you have the ring fit into the finger of your partner, or the holy string around the neck of your wife-to-be, or the arm to arm twirl to drink the chinese tea or even the oath taken infornt of the tuk kadi is the moment where you realise life will not be the same it used to be. the next moment you know, you will never sleep alone, your closet has two types of clothing (male/female), your plates, dishes, laundry, bills are doubled, and out of the blue, you will also have to start thinking about preparing a cot, little dresses/shirts/pants, diapers and plush toys. (if you know what i mean). but at the end of it, as life will never be the same, marriage is the beginning to a new adventure, thrill and excitement. the pleasure of sharing your bed with someone you know and ought to be your life-long partner, paying your doubled bills and buying little shoes for your little ones, thos are the moments that one can never achieve or able to experience without an oath to commitment and never- ending love.

guys, i have to pen off. tomorrow i'll be having makroekonomi. let's hope shakepeare's quote becomes reality....

"all's well ends well!" 

NO & YES

it is very easy to say a no. you do not have to actually say the word no itself, but..

the things that  you do,
the response that you give,
the attitude you show,
the behaviour you potray...

will actually resemble your no~

sometimes i wonder, is it that difficult to do something out of your will for the good of others. yes you may think that why should you suffer or put yourself in hot soup for another person or another group's sake, but why not?

why not?
is it that painful or difficult?
we are all in the same position, in the same situation, but why is it that it has an exception?
the moment you say you cannot, is the moment where you start to fail. in each of us, theres a potential in us. but that potential will not just bump out automatically. it needs a medium, and its you.
you can do it but you choose not to....
you are capable to perform it but you feel so dependable....
you know the job well but you choose to ignore it..

the question comes to you..

what do you care?
it is my potential and i choose whether to unleash it or not?

but do think of this..

the deeper you lock yourself in that potential supposedly to wait for the perfect time, the harder you shall find it difficult to make it obvious...

sacrificing something for another despite of your own lack of potentials is something that very few are able to do. however those who are able to do it are the ones who has actually unleashed their own potentials.
let it be 1% but the fact is you did what you was told to do. you knew your limits and you went above all. you  knew your incapabilities but you chose to ignore it and put your best forward.that is what i call,

unlocking your potetial....

if one is able to sing and you can only rhyme
if one is able to draw a potrait and you can only draw shapes
if one is able to prepare gourmet dishes and you can only fry eggs
if one is able to write a book and you can only write a paragraph....


never feel small or litlle..because that very small effort you manged to do and show despite knowing that you would not be able to be an artiste, an artist, a chef, and an author is the largest deed and sacrifice you could do without a no~

NO is only for those who believes in their own capabilities and not willing to move an inch further
but
a YES is for those who understands their incapabilities and yet try to do their very best!

i need your smile, laughter & hope

thinking over about the past is something that almost everyone have in common. we think of the what have done. we think of how it caused people to think in the way now. we think of things and of objects. we think of memories and dreams. we think of almost everything.

ironically the past has never thought of us. to it, once pass is passed and thee is no point of re-calling it back. i wonder of people nowadays. they tend to throw the blame or mistake or even failure towards their past. they associate it with ideas or even experiences that has caused the things that they do now which appeared to be not meeting the standards. what has the past got to do with today? yes, i did not say that it could not affect you today, but the context is that why should the past be blamed for one's down?

* silently sits to himself*

people think that they are the most saddest thing, the most unfortunate person, the most unlucky thing that has ever happened to them. they feel that they have been succumbed into a great predicament and the 'credits' were given to the past. people see others as problem-free and happy-go-lucky. they feel that these lucky people are always out of way and never tastes the bitterness in life. they also believe that these people are just so free and are able to do anything they favor. to add more, they sometimes ask themselves or dreamed to be like them.

but the thing that they do not understand god is always fair and just. He knows when to test and when to reward a person. however He is not the topic nor the subject of matter. i believe none in this world does not a have a thought or two about the problems they face. let it be in finances, education, personalities, relationships, responsibilities. anything, but i know and i believe that everyone is this world does not lead a predicament-free life.

but when we ask..

"how come they laugh when i tear?"
"how come they can joke when i can't even laugh?"

"how come they take things as it is when i have too much to handle?"

"how come they are able to take 3 complete meals a day where i barely finish my lunch?"

"how come they know more things when i don't recognize learning or studying or even experiencing them?"

"how come they wake up everyday in the morning with a smile and i all see in the mirror is another typical day?"

"how come they go to bed having sweet wonderful dreams in peaceful sleep where i find it difficult even to sleep?" 

the answer lies within us. it is how we actually perceive these problems. it is how we get rid of this headache and most of all it is how we learn to live and grow with it. surprising it maybe, to actually live and grow with problems but if we take a look at it a little deeper, it is just plain understanding and maturing from the every problem you face. 

why should we tear when these problems are just tests from God. are we afraid to see the reality in life? as a person, we are made and created to have feelings of fear. i do agree, but if we were to be fearful of every challenges in life, then how come we are here today? how come we still survive in this 'living hell'?

why can't we laugh when these problems are haunting us. it has been a universal saying that, laughter is the best medicine. laugh it off, forget it for a day, laugh it loud and you shall see the problems eventually fading away. just laugh from he heart.

why should we feel stress with the too many things to handle? to be able to hold such great responsibilities is something that not everyone can do and yet you have took up the challenge.  so why envy the rest with few work? it is you who will mature more and learn even more.

why must you torture your body with hunger just because you don't feel like eating? you need the energy to think. you need the energy to live. you need the energy for tomorrow as no tomorrows stay the same throughout one's life.

why should you envy those who seems to know everything? you know where you stand and you know how much you have in you and how much more you need to pursue this challenge in life. therefore, stop hesitating, and grasp as much as you need.

why do you see every new day as the same? every new day is a new beginning. it is mark to show that no matter what your problems were, you still could get up the day after and still live. 

why you have sleepless nights when it is the night where the time to take your problems to a new stage. sleep to know that your day will be better tomorrow and not sleep to only see a typical day as any other days.

all in one, it is how we see things the way they are. why think over an over of  your problems where you just need to put a smile, a laughter, a little hope in them? they will help to resolve your problems and they will mature you into a better tougher person in life~