Doing what you mean and Meaning what you do.

Have you ever wondered why is it that the world seems flat and wide when it is actually a sphere?

Have you ever asked yourself why is it that today's words would not sound the same as tomorrow? 

Have you ever doubted on how people say or do things the way they were once known, to you at least, as something very different than that?

Have you ever questioned them then?

People do and people live. People do live in the way they do things to live. It is sad to see or witness something of your desires and yet as much as you might want to have it, it just seems too far away, or else, requiring something so great that could in fact come in handy for another course. Say for example, you were walking by a street and then this scent reaches your nostrils and it just carries you right down the street and into the front door of this little cottage with hot baking pancakes and thick rich milk in palm length glasses. You very much like and want to enter it but you stand back and hesitate. Am i invited? Is it free? Do they perhaps provide samples? And with a minute or two of thinking and reflecting maybe, you turn your back against the little brown cottage and walk away. All in the while, thinking and mostly reflecting.

Thinking  is a funny thing. Reflecting only makes you laugh cynically. But then, in reality, what is gone is gone.  Nevertheless, having gone and gone forever are two things apart. It may have gone but not impossible to retrieve it. Simirlarly, its like turning back and heading into the cottage for the pancakes and milk. Life is indeed different from one walk to another.

Today you let go of things thinking that it is for the best of both worlds.
Today you rush into with the rest to claim what is yours and proudly announce your victory.
Today you keep things unsaid to leave a heart unhurt.
Today you tell off your mind to draw the line and to avoid future predicaments.
Today you do things your way, feeling comfortable but perhaps a little insecure.
Today you act in a way not unlikely to be you, feeling satisfied, but guilty in another way.

So where is then the definition of saying and doing things you mean and meaning the things you say and do? To me, it all falls on the way we look at things and of how we intend others to perceive. Say you do not want to intrude the little cottage, bearing in mind that the pancakes aren't baked for you, and then leave, but in walking away, you regret, perhaps if you had asked for one, you might get a taste of it. And say you want to have that hot pancake and the rich milk, and you just go and get it, you might as well be given a basket full of them or even chased after with a broom.

Deep down, pancakes and milk do get along together, for the rumbling tummy!

Words

I am now currently listening to the song "Words" by Boyzone as I'm typing here.

Words! So what do they do?

It compliments.

It encourages.

It soothes.

It electrifies.

It personify us.

Simirlarly,

It critics.
It discourages.
It downgrades.
It humiliates.
It saddens.
It mocks.
It even turns life upside down.

So where do the boundaries of Words lie. A line that distinguishes a certain extent to what it means. Somehow, we fail to see the seemingly fading, perhaps, long-erased line in that it has reflected the way we live. We fumble in this dull category that we do not realise the extent of the Words we use, plainly either to mean it honestly, sincerely, intuitively, intently, or even without realization. It is the Words that we profoundly and randomly and selectively that we utter unlikely the way that we used to live, now is deteriorating miserably. Somehow somewhere, Words is indeed man's most influential creation and indeed man's most affecting aura.

Nothing too good and too bad is good. Everything needs a start and a stop. The way of saying one too much or frequent and the other of saying too less or occasionally is not what we are used of. We use these Words in times not knowing how it is able to put a shadow on one that follows that particular person for as long as the clock ticks.  We use these Words in times knowing that it will bring either satisfaction, harmony, faith, trust and confidence. We use these Words in  a way to know that everyone and everything has a limit and a boundary as well as their own Words to adhere to.

Sadly, men sometimes chooses to pin it out of their heads.

Words is the units that we use in a dialogue, a script, a poem, and even a speech.
Words is also the blesses that we give to people, animals, things and the Earth.
Words is also the curses that we slur onto these beings.

Words is like time. Once uttered, it is irreversible. As much as we know that time is like gold, how come, Words has not been associated with anything? Perhaps of its ambiguous characteristics that describes it in not being able to be compared with gold or even coal!

Words is thus like a flower. As it grows, petal by petal, stalk by stalk, root by root, it never downsizes or evolves into a bud again. Either we use this Flower as decorative item,  a gift that one appreciates and truly respects or use it as an illusion or mirage that that what is seen is not what it means.

Words are indeed words. They are indeed man's most influential creation and indeed man's most affecting aura.

A coffee by the window

And just as you made your coffee and sat down by the couch near the window with the cool breeze and rustling leaves, you start to think.

You think of a person and then you ask yourself questions. Are things going to be the way you have planned? Are things going to work out as you have foreseen? Are things going to be different then? And if so, how? Then, what happens? You just sit on the couch, sip your coffee and look at the falling leaves. I think a feeling is such. At one time, you think you know that you are in control of it and conscious of its doings and beings. And at one stop, inversely this very feeling takes hold of you. It devours and leaves you either extremely happy, obviously worried or desperately in pain. And so you ask yourself the most prominent question. Why?

Oh well, just sip the coffee and enjoy the breeze.

And then you think of a friend. He may have been somehow close and somehow distant. She perhaps is happy and perhaps reluctant. He may have said 'yes' but meant a 'no'. She should be coming but apparently she was not there. He might have smiled but behind he smirks. She possibly would have laughed but only to cry inside. And this 'He and 'She' is of those you cling on for several reasons. Selfish and senseless, you might say but the reality is, no man is a lone island. Of course, loyalty and sincerity fosters true friendship. But how many true friends you have out there. The one that sits beside you sharing life experiences and tales of different kinds. The one that makes you laugh when you are down. And the one that wipes your tears.

The breeze maybe cold but know that it cools your heat inside.

And then you think of a girl or a boy. And you see yourself in the mirror but only to suspect, are you doing enough? Or are you playing a game for two by yourself? Maybe you think too much. Perhaps there never was one before. Might it be, never will? And then you think over. You think back of the past and of how it has rolled and printed you out. And then you ask whether that has got something to do in the presence today. You question God for answers, but only to know that He always watches upon you. Fate, it seems plays a major role. Lucky, however, slips in from time to time. And devils, creep in the shadows of your life. In the end, you are left without an answer, and you are forced to venture out there alone seeking for it.

The coffee, if not drank quick enough, gets colder and its taste evaporates in thin air.

So, you sit down by the couch before an open window and you smile with its soft cool breeze thinking of all this.

Ignorance

At times you wonder what truly is ignorance? An act to judge you for hating you, disliking you, or a simple way of saying I am not quite interested as I am in the middle of something more important to do. You perhaps wonder why does little water droplets keep dripping from the pipe although you have closed it tight. Is there something wrong with the rubber ring in the pipe that is loose or torn or is it time to change the whole pipe? Perhaps ignorance is such. You just change your attitude towards it rather than analyzing the course.

Today, not many are unaware of ignorance. It happens almost everywhere, anytime, any place. At the traffic lights, where you just stopped your vehicle upon seeing the red light and then at you right, you see another vehicle jams the oil gear and zooms pass you. At the coffee shop, with your coffee just arrived and you see a little crushed tissue paper on the floor or a used cigarette but surprising, the waiters there do not seem to bother them. So what goes on in them? Ignorance? Something else important to pursue? Or has the image of the red light, tissue paper, or the used cigarette fell onto their blind spot, a part inside the eye that causes one to miss them.

Well ignorance is both something good in a way and something unpleasant in another. The gospel truth proclaimed by many people, especially elders, tend to tell us to ignore the people around that offend us in any way. It is one way of keeping away from trouble, or more that I had prefer calling as escapism. True enough it works.

What is the point of being an alpha lion, where you only get bruises, blood patches, kicked out of your territory or for the worse, death?! Its better to actually stay away when problem seeks you and at the end you get something not everyone gets; forgiveness. I mean, being a coward is not the solution. In other words, being brave by keeping away problems out of your sleeves is the ideal solution to conflicts today. Sadly, many misunderstand it and some, the so-called tough guys, perceive it as being a chicken. They say, being born as men, they are obliged to actually not to give up something without a fight and what I mean here by a fight is where knuckles meet knuckles. 

The point is, why fight when you can walk away feeling greater in spiritual levels and that you are able to smile and ignore a person who just mocked your name or called you a coward? There are things in this world however, are worth fighting for. Well, it is not something in irony to what I have said, but then of situations such as fighting a disease, the person you love, a challenge in life, or in a debate, then being an alpha is a must. Of course, an alpha who does not act cowardly by mocking and calling names. In other words, being courageous to fight what is yours!

If ignorance is the key to keep away problems, then what if ignorance itself creates a problem? When you simply ignore someone, you do not respect the person. You do not give a thing to what he or she has to say. You might want to say that saying nothing at all is better than saying something that eventually aggravates more problems. But, look it in this way, you have been in close, if not normal relationship with a person, and that you have had many times spent together, laughing as well as sharing things. And at one time, well, one maybe light to talk about, but countless times, the person whom you have been sharing things for the past many times, chooses to put a deaf ear at you. Now, is that something i-have-something-more-important-to-do or you just do not want to know about it at all as it does not concern you?

And at that particular minute, you sit back and think what has become of that person. You start making judgement and drawing conclusions. You start loosing faith as well as hope in that person. Well, more or less, you might say that, that person is unaware of you wanting to share something. Yes, it maybe. But think it again, in 10 questions you ask, you get one or maybe two answers. So is then called simply being unaware?

Ignorance is indeed good in a way and unpleasant in another. The levers to measure them lies in our hands. But the actions that we do based on our decisions are sometimes not in the favor of those that are going to accept your doings. Then, there is where, tolerance, forgiveness and most of all ignorance comes in handy.

Sadly, relationships today, in matters of friends, love, and family get destroyed due to unbalanced ignorance.

Life

What do you do when you think you have just got what you need in life and then at that very next moment, you feel you have  lost it, or perhaps you never did achieve it? Sometimes we wonder what is it that we really need in this world and wonder why something else is given. Or rather, why does it feel so hard to live life the way you want but only getting to know that your life is not in the way that you want others to see it. But then, is the life that we live depends on what others might say or is it a life that we own and we do as we want. But then again, no man is an island. So what is life then?

Friendship is a thing everyone needs. It comes from many different sources and it has different definitions from one person to another. She may help you all out. The kind of person you know you can put your queries on and never once, if not seldom, that she will try to carry the weight off your shoulders. She is the kind of person one sees as maybe being a guardian, bothering you in all ways if not a few, keeping you updated of the news around the world. But then also, she is the kind of person one finds it hard to be close with. She is seen as being, well, more to a lawyer than a client, more to a policewoman than a criminal, and more to a guardian than a mate. But then, you know that she never puts a mark on you and that you know you're just being yourself. Friendship is a thing everyone needs no matter what definitions you give to her.

Love is something inevitable but its course maybe wavy and crooked. He is a person of a normal kind. The one you know might perhaps be a of a help and might perhaps be of a loner. And she is a person where angels never stop playing with. Well, she might have been considered as one too. Romeo and Juliet was a beautiful couple, and though death ended the physical relationship of them, their emotional side never seems to fade up to today. And so, he and she is the kind that you see and you know that they do belong to one another as how a flower belongs to its stalk and how a leaf belongs to its branch. Love is an irony thing. The moment you see joy, it is then, where you see tears. But to what extend, love proclaims its power, one knows not. However, living in this life knowing you have love, is more than what you need, if you know that the love you have is indeed love and not admiration.

Problems will hunt one forever. I think it is a way of reminding us the existence of God. He who gives definitely takes it back. It is only at the time where He knows that you have earned it. They look at you and they judge you for what you display. They are the kind of people you know that will help you in a way and maybe leave you in your room alone not aware of your presence. They are the kind of people where as the time flies, they fly too. Its something like the tall grasses that are blown from one side to another depending on the course of the wind. However, displaying the life that you are and the life that you want are two different things. Perhaps I am caught within both. It is sad to know that the kind of way you live is not the way you intended it to be. It is further saddening to experience what they do and think of you based on the life that you lead, without having any other choice. Problems is like a shadow. It follows you.

Live is then something where you know that there is a time to laugh, a time to feel down, a time to cry, a time to think, a time to change, a time to believe, a time to let go, and most of all a time to live life to the fullest!

So then, to you out there, if life ever bothers you, then take it as a friend because befriending life is like make a truce between yourself and God, vowing that all hard times shall come to and end and all good things shall pour upon you, telling you life is like a Christmas morning. The dark night passes away and the next bight morning, you open all the gifts for you!

A Fairy Tale in Reality

When you listen to a living proof of someone living the life of a fairy tale and then you reflect on how shall your own fairy tale be, and then you get this mixed, perplexed feeling that it is so entirely difficult to achieve, then that is truly saddening, and what more of trying to see how it shall go on. And when you listen to the tales of how that person achieved such a fairy tale, and then again you put yourself into in, only to find that things are not the same. What then shall we do? What then shall we become of? I mean, everyone would love to live in a fairy tale, but how many have truly achieved, not because of the lack of efforts or courage but because of how things seem.

"You have to be brave. Have the courage to walk out and proudly pronounce yourself as a person who is willing to go all out"

The encouragement above do gives you the I-want-and-know-I-can-do-it feeling. True. Very true. Without a doubt, it is true. However, knowing that you can do and knowing you find it extremely difficult, and almost impossible to do it are two different things. Of the former, it is simply of hard work, commitment, and strength without giving up hope. Of the latter then, to know that someone or something that keeps hope and entrusting you the weight of responsibility and to restore the honour of not only yourself, but the people around you whom you love, is something that a fairy tale will seem almost impossible to achieve.

The fear of losing what you have while exploring new endeavours, which also slips in the way greatly troubles and affects the person. When you go home, and you see nothing but unjustice and each time you answer a call, and you hear nothing but what have happened throughout the day brings nothing else, but plain annoyance, aggravated anger, and doubled hatred. And therefore, indirectly, you feel the burden on your shoulders to claim what is right and to give what one could not have previously grows every minute. In the long run, it becomes a mission, and the hopes of a fairy tale become blur.

Perhaps, the road that you have chosen is not right. Or maybe the solution you chose to use is not appropriate. Or maybe you lack confidence to see yourself as a person who is able to lead a fairy tale despite of what is troubling you. After all, the person above mentioned in my first sentene did go through the same, well, maybe even more. The choices that are around us fools us in a way and makes us think deeply in another way. It makes you look small when you are clueless about the resolution and it lets you justify each choice and then to make a choice.

Simple but complicated, a life is to a person. You are like a boat on a sea. The steering you make and the directions you point to are the vast choices that lies ahead of you. However, the sea that either, pushes you off track or brings large waves to you is like the challenges that you need to go overcome to reach land.

But, no matter how one may see that a fairy tale is easy to achieve if you have the guts to chase after it, only a person whose feet are buried in deep within the earth and mud will know what is like to chase after a fairy tale than to vanquish the weight thrown to you, hoping for a change, all in purpose to provide happiness and satisfaction

It is difficult to question a person and not getting an answer. It is sad to know that some things are the way they are, and it shall change only if we make the call. It is indeed what i would call realities in life that perhaps you need to go through pain to get pleasure. I do not feel pessimistic about this but then as you look outside and you see many others laughing while you sit and think sadly, what comes over you, only, you will know and not the rest.

Perhaps, it is life. A life in a fairy tale may not be impossible to achieve but living a fairy tale in a life you know that does not mean much is not going to give you a true fairy tale indeed.

After all, I think, this is the order of life.

Being human

Believing is one thing. Having confidence is another. Having, well, the potentials, is likely to be another one as well but to bring it about, to confront and face it is something out of what one seems to think that it shall come in time, in another way, naturally when the need calls for. To be honest and to be sincere as well as, well, to be quite frank, everyone, regardless of where you come from or how were you brought up, has a thing in them in which i would rather perceive it as human potential. Usain Bolt, being the 'man-cheetah', if till today or I have not noticed that he has been over thrown from his throne of being the fastest man on Earth, is not something that no one else can't achieve. After all, both Usain Bolt and we are of a race; human.

Potential and talent are two roads in a map. They may meet at a junction, forming one larger road or they may not turn into one another for as long as ever. However, that does not account for the reason of us being ashamed, reluctant, and unwilling to do what it takes to bring out the potential in us, if in case there is no talent. One may seem that he or she does not have what it takes to be a person, but the fact that he or she is indeed a person after all is inevitable. Then, what is it that you are trying to prove? That you are not human for your no-potential/interest characteristic where you are actually a human after all? Imagine a child saying "I don't want that!" (pointing to a lollipop in your hand) while showing to a jar of lollipop, and that he wants THAT lollipop. I suppose you should have gotten the picture.

Talent is a bonus item. It is a gift that with or without it, one will still be able to beat the odds to be a person of a kind. Potential, on the other hand, rests within everyone, deep inside them, like a box of candies, awaiting to be opened. You see, the irony here is, both you and me are born into this world to be someone. Both you and me are created by God himself to proclaim what's right for us and to proof that we are of the higher class compared to our closest cousins, perhaps, that is if you believe it, the apes and their kind; the animals.

Being embarrassed or having the fear to do what you think was once and is not familiar and common is a part of the process where we age to be an entity that creates wonders to this very Earth. It is a part where we fall and then we get up, knowing that none of us were made perfect to endeavor such challenges in life. It is somewhat I call being human. You may seem confused or perhaps ask, how should I know that I have the ability or the potential, if I do not have the talent to do such a task. Then, reading this is only a waste of your time.

A man is made for a reason and so is a woman.
They have come to this world and they have created admirable and amazing stories to be told over and over again.
The skyscrapers that we admire daily as we pass them, the cruises and ships that we use to cross seas and oceans, the metal flying birds that we now board to cross continents are some of what you and me once doubted of them coming into existence.
And as they proofed us wrong, these man and woman are also human, like both you and me.
Therefore, I see no reasons of both you and me to repeat what once our ancestors achieved and what human today are achieving.
Potential is what we all have and need to run it if we need to create wonders.
It is all just being human.

A belief to judge and be judged..

Have you ever wondered what is love all about?
Or have you actually felt what is love?
Perhaps are you actually in love?

To describe love as something like, say in other words, a mutual understanding of emotions, affections, feelings and sometimes even spiritually between two individuals is not going to give you the love, almost everyone keeps bragging about. Yes, weird it may seem, or sometimes even controvesial, but love is a little bit more than just understanding one another in and out. Confessing the iconic phrase "I LOVE YOU" to someone whom you think is the one made for you alone is not going to guarantee you to get the reply "I LOVE YOU TOO" for as long as you think it is going to last, eternally in another way of putting it.

A friend of mine, came about and described of the things she went through. Having being proposed by several guys is not something to be happy off. I mean, in a way, it lets others perceive you as something so exquisite and irresistible that not one or two but several guys, chase after. Sad, she had to turn over them. Its not the characteristics or the comfort that she sees in them, but in what she believes that is right for her. After all, one has many reasons to reject another one. And of all reasons, the most common one is the difference between these two individuals that set them apart. A difference which is more than just being ridiculous. A reason that I and many others believe, that is should not be a question or a statement between the space of two individuals in love. Sadly again, things remain the way they are. And we, are expected to go along them.

Love is just a word. You write it. You say it. And you confess it. A word being so pure, but always being prejudiced just because on one belief. You may ask, why not just go against it and fight for your love. After all love goes beyond anything on this sphere. Think again. We live in a place where belief becomes of great significance in determining almost everything. We are brought up to disintegrate this belief and we are taught to go along it. And so then, to expect one to go against this common belief will only cause more pain than the pleasure of love itself.

It is pretty much unjust and wrong to measure love with a belief of a common rate. You see, when something is so pure and powerful that it is able to cure almost anything, bringing happiness to almost everyone, and changing things for the good to almost everything, when judged based on some saying passed down since generations ago, then that purity and powers of that word itself has disappeared into thin air. Then, of what use it is to write, say and even confess it? It is just a word, and nothing more.

Love is not for you and me to judge on. But again, it is sad, that people choose to control its undying  auras that gives life to all. Well, almost all. People shall remain people. Their norms shall be their very norms from yesterday up to tomorrow. Their beliefs however is on a lever where one can choose to pick sides. To restrict, control, order, and demand something based on one ridiculous, senseless belief will not make you a person. It will only dehumanize you one day. Perhaps sooner.

I am truly sad for those of you out there whose love is judged based on this belief. Nevertheless, my recommendation would be: if love is all you need, then live and fight for it because one day things will not be the same as they were before.

         

~BOOK TWELVE~

~BOOK TWELVE~

(26/5 10.40pm)

The end of a star.

Cars were honking and taxis were hooting. The traffic lights went a little blunder from time to time. The heat from the mighty Sun was so strong that it pricked the skin. Everyone was busy. Everyone was be coming haywire. Everyone was getting tensed up. It was a major traffic jam just outside the studio where Zoe Miranda, the town's latest upcoming artist debuted her latest single. A ceremony and press conference was held alongside the event. Everyone outside the studio felt the tense, including the one person in the studio. Sarah.

Sarah was a woman that never stops searching and getting the things in life that she wants. Be it an object, a diamond, a person, love, or even revenge, Sarah never fails in getting them. In other words she goes all out to get hold of the thing that she has set her eyes upon, even if it involves sacrifices and risks. Sarah is indeed a woman that you would never suspect of being such a character. Perhaps, all this while, one only sees with the eyes and not through the mind.

The debut single, by Zoe Miranda was being played the moment she introduced Brandon. There ought to be something in the title of her latest single "Show Me" with Brandon and her poor dear friend, Sarah. As Brandon went on stage, there was a standing ovation. Zoe herself came down to get her man up. Indeed this was more than just a plain exposure of her lover. 

"When was this?"

"Since when Zoe?"

"Is Brandon your first?"

Questions after questions were being shot at the artist, just after she and the new man in her life, Brandon sat down. Zoe was smiling all the way. Brandon was smiling all the way too. Both, however, had different reasons for smiling.

"Perhaps Miss Zoe will let Brandon answer himself?" suggested Miss Zara, her manager with a smile also.

Everyone was smiling. And everyone, as in the press, journalists, reporters was smiling at it. Only they do not know the tale behind each smile on each of the faces up there on the stage.

"Perfect idea!...Er, Brandon, would you do the honour? This poor fellows are dying to have something exclusive written on their articles."

"True. After all, it's not everyday a normal citizen like me gets interviewed!" Brandon said.

They were holding each other's hands. Zoe accompanied Brandon to a podium specially made for them. It seemed funny that an artist goes to a podium to talk but I guess Zoe had been planning all this.

"And so, when did we start? Well...." began Brandon.

Brandon had only started to answer the paparazzi when all of a sudden two things happened. A gun shot. And the second, Zoe fell to the floor. 

Everyone went into a state of shock. There was silence for about four seconds. No cameras were clicking or flashing. Miss Zara who was sipping on her white wine, stopped and looked stunned looking the girl on the podium with Brandon fell to the floor. Then out of no where, someone shouted!

"Zoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Only then, everyone realized what had happened. Cameras began flashing. The glass  Miss Zara was holding dropped and shattered to tiny pieces. The studio manager, Mr Humprey stood and could not move. He was just watching the scene. He was shocked, I suppose.

Everyone except for one man went hay wire. Brandon. He looked at the dead artist on the floor. By then, there was a large pool of blood. Brandon looked at her and then looked forward. His eyes went straight behind Sarah. Sarah who watched all this was in a state of shock too, but she caught the glimpse of Brandon. She turned back and saw another man. Then she switched to Brandon again.

He winked and gave this smile he had been wearing since going on stage. The man behind nodded and left the studio.

Sarah stood there. Either it was luck or guilt, Sarah just stood there. Soon, tears began to wet her cheeks.

Cars were honking and taxis were hooting. The traffic lights went a little blunder from time to time. The heat from the mighty Sun was so strong that it pricked the skin. Everyone was busy. Everyone was be coming haywire. Everyone was getting tensed up. It was a major traffic jam just outside the studio where Zoe Miranda, the town's latest upcoming artist debuted her latest single. A ceremony and press conference was held alongside the event. Everyone outside the studio felt the tense, including one person in the studio. Sarah. 

She only stood there.