The world at your heart.

It is a wonderful world, the way it is,

Today you see a leaf budding out of its branch,

And tomorrow you see a caterpillar munching it.

Today the ducks get together for a fiesta,

And just after noon, you only get their feathers and poop.

So far it has been a wonderful world, unique in its own way.

It is a terrible world, decidedly as it is,

Today you get your dress on, neatly ironed,

And with the slightest waive of your hand, you coffee spills on it.

Today you get your new mobile phone, fully accessorized,

And by nighttime, it shuts down, circuit failure.

Really it is a terrible world, if you choose to see it that way.

It is a pleasing world, with surprises that excite you,

Today you get fired as a waiter, for spilling water on your shoes,

And tomorrow, you get a letter, an offer to study someplace else.

Today you saw the marble you wanted sold to another boy,

And tomorrow, you see a yoyo, a gift you have always wanted.

Again, it is a pleasing world, if we notice these small occurrences.

It is a saddening world, with tears and cries that overthrows you,

Today you lost your kitten, after only a week with you,

And tomorrow, you find the matching pair of your ear rings missing.

Today your car tyre bursts, getting you late to the office,

And tomorrow, the mechanics say they have no stock for the tyre that suits the car.

Occasionally, it is a saddening world, devastating at times.

It is a wonderful world, the way it is,

Today you see your best man running away with the rings,

And later, a report gets to you, the robber got hit, the rings secured.

Today you pray for the best things to happen,

And tomorrow, it occurs differently, but amazing you.

So far it has been a wonderful world, unique in its own way.

It actually is a wonderful world,

Desirable, enviable, adorable.

It really has been a wonderful world,

With surprises that could even take your heart away.

Man much?

So you think you’re a man? And you think that having a jaw-dropping person of the opposite sex clinging to you, like you are the last man on earth makes you the utmost superior being? And you believe, that in that ways of yours, you are a man after all?

Well guess again.

It may seem like a biased evaluation or even an unfair assessment. But, logic speaks for itself.

You get in, and you chuck your shoes at the corner, knowing that you will still be using it the day after today, leaving it lying there without a shelf or a proper place to rest on.

You come in, and into you room, you chuck your shirts/pants/inner wears on the bed, knowing that it is your bed, and only you will be using it, leaving it rotting there for later use in case you want to wear it again later.

You enter and into the bathroom, you excrete whatever your bladder, bowels, and digestive system have left out, knowing that it is after all not your bathroom, leaving it to stink and cause displeasure for the nose and the eyes.

You barge in and you start yelling like the world is about to end, and you want everyone to hear you for the last time, knowing that it is your voice after all, leaving it to hurt the peace and calm place people are actually engaging in to complete their own agendas.

You actually wash your clothes, and you surprisingly dry them knowing that it will dry somehow, but not realizing that you do not pick it up until you find your closet is empty, leaving others not a space and the humid air around you.

You dump in your clothes into your closet, like throwing a stone into a well, knowing that it is your space, but only to leave it accumulate, attracting ants, mosquitoes, and even stench of damp clothes.

You walk in with such pride, eat your food with such glory, but stack your utensils into the sink knowing that tomorrow you can always wash it and use it, not knowing, that you attract flies, ants, and even a colony of sometimes, rats.

You come in with that glory of having such great pleasures of a day out with whom you see as the liveliest creature on earth, not knowing that inside that closet, a skeleton, decaying and suffering from all the moss and glitch you not knowingly collect in this proud museum of yours.

And now, you are a man? In your girl’s eyes, perhaps, but not in the eyes of the society, nations and most of all He who lives above us all.

Silencing You

Guilt is not pain. Certainly it is not.

Guilt is dejection.

In a day, how many times do you encounter events, circumstances, and actions that test your guilty conscious? How many turn out to be true? And in that number, how many really worth your guilt? And in that, do you actually need to feel the guilt?

One, perhaps?

Two, maybe?

Or, three?

How about none at all?

But what if all of them were true after all?

What do you do then?

A conscious mind would try making up with that guilt. Offering little tokens of support, fragments of a joke, and sometimes, hinting a change in the topic of discussion. But then, do you really need to do so?

They always said, there are always two sides to everything. Like a coin. I mean, you never get a coin whose both sides are the same, do you? And sometimes, it just is. It simply takes one hand to make a sound. It only takes one side to cause uproar. It only takes a person to feel dejected.

And that is guilt.

Getting your way is not always the best option available. Being silent is always the available decision in every contemplation, however hurtful and spiteful it might get. Nevertheless, it disregards one’s judgment on you. 

And then, they think you are just another boy who only lurks in the shadows, never trying to come out and feel light. The thing they don’t know is that, only when there’s light, there’s shadow. And without a light, there will never be a shadow. So whose side is the better one? The independent or the dependant? Now, again, there are two sides to everything.

What I mean is, silence may not be the ultimate feedback, but it certainly takes guts, patience, a heart and a clean mind to pursue it.

Having your way, the way you intended it to be, will not necessarily grant you the satisfaction you desire. It only adds the guilt.

After all, as much as pain can be inflicted from guilt, guilt itself dejects one’s soul and heart from the vessel.

And here, I sit, keeping silent.

For I know, there’s two sides to everything. Including silence.  

Growing

I realized one thing. Growing old and becoming matured are two things far apart. Every year, we celebrate a year older. The special day that we dedicate to all our successful years behind of being able to completely finishing and walking through it in times of good and bad. A day that becomes the signifier that on that very day we have grown somewhat bigger, taller, smarter, and even matured. However, how many of us actually sit back and think whether in all this years, on that very day, have they truly become what they thought they have? I mean, saying that I am officially 20 today does not mean that I have what it takes to be one. Just because I appear somewhat physically larger get the woos from the ladies does not account the real self of being a 20 year old.

My mother used to say that some people, though almost in their golden age, seem to act like a new born, demanding things way beyond apprehension and comprehension. It is sad in a way that when I see you over there standing and behaving like somewhat, I had rather refer to as a lone individual; I sometimes keep the words in my mind to myself. They say, the more you keep silent, the more the lone individual sits and rocks on your head. I understand and I believe the statement. However, should I be teaching you morals? Should I be telling you the things we should or should not do? Should I say my mind off and hurt everyone, though it initially was not the original intention?

What should I do then?

Silence.

Sacrifice.

And I keep quiet knowing that, one day for the effort you deliberately kept aside, and for the times I spent covering you, not knowing you realized it or not, would grant me a recognition beyond any rewards, gifts and compliments.

Satisfaction. Acknowledgement.

And so, you once again preach about your age of turning into the adult world, realizing that, everything, once a taboo, now an option. And then you preach to everyone about how good you are, how much efforts you have put, how great sacrifices you have done, belittling those who barely did nothing.

One phrase; pot calling kettle black.

Today I stand on a cliff and you below me, looking up to me. It does not mean that my achievements are greater than you for above me, lies a mountain waiting to be hiked and conquered. And till then, go on preaching of how matured you have become, for it is only to fill the empty slates of your fragments of life. When we age, let not the physical attributes, the proficiency, the knowledge, the do’s and dont’s  only grow, but leave some space for maturity.

Being 20 and acting like a 5 year old.

Now that is something to ponder on.