Silencing You

Guilt is not pain. Certainly it is not.

Guilt is dejection.

In a day, how many times do you encounter events, circumstances, and actions that test your guilty conscious? How many turn out to be true? And in that number, how many really worth your guilt? And in that, do you actually need to feel the guilt?

One, perhaps?

Two, maybe?

Or, three?

How about none at all?

But what if all of them were true after all?

What do you do then?

A conscious mind would try making up with that guilt. Offering little tokens of support, fragments of a joke, and sometimes, hinting a change in the topic of discussion. But then, do you really need to do so?

They always said, there are always two sides to everything. Like a coin. I mean, you never get a coin whose both sides are the same, do you? And sometimes, it just is. It simply takes one hand to make a sound. It only takes one side to cause uproar. It only takes a person to feel dejected.

And that is guilt.

Getting your way is not always the best option available. Being silent is always the available decision in every contemplation, however hurtful and spiteful it might get. Nevertheless, it disregards one’s judgment on you. 

And then, they think you are just another boy who only lurks in the shadows, never trying to come out and feel light. The thing they don’t know is that, only when there’s light, there’s shadow. And without a light, there will never be a shadow. So whose side is the better one? The independent or the dependant? Now, again, there are two sides to everything.

What I mean is, silence may not be the ultimate feedback, but it certainly takes guts, patience, a heart and a clean mind to pursue it.

Having your way, the way you intended it to be, will not necessarily grant you the satisfaction you desire. It only adds the guilt.

After all, as much as pain can be inflicted from guilt, guilt itself dejects one’s soul and heart from the vessel.

And here, I sit, keeping silent.

For I know, there’s two sides to everything. Including silence.