by the passing of you.

in this passing i realized,
never leave what comes to you,
love, happiness, pain, tears,
for it leaves soon before you know,
leaving a pang of emptiness behind.

in this passing i realized,
it is difficult for one to commit to what others have,
without a choice, we take it,
and in this glory of faith we put it,
of the things that we hold,
it turns back at us,
leaving a pang of emptiness behind.

in this passing i realized,
no matter what grief it gives you,
no matter how deep it hurts you,
no matter where it stabs you,
no matter when it hits you,
ask him for less than more,
ask him for little but much,
ask him for lighter not heavier,
and in this passing,
it will be become better.
soon.

not me, no, not me.

no this is not me,
lying in this place,
lurking from the corner of the block,
awaiting for you to show up,
only to run into hiding when you do,
no this is not me.

no this is not me,
sitting here alone,
perched on this seat with tea,
looking out in case you'd showed up,
and then i look back at my drink,
put the bill in and walk away,
no this is not me.

no this is not me,
waiting for the bus,
poised on this stop like a washed man,
with his umbrella in hand,
and then it comes,
along the rain it washes us,
both me, my umbrella, in this stop,
no this is not me.

no this is not me,
tapping my feet,
and thinking of how much we have drifted apart,
and then i bit my lip,
and it bled,
and then you were there,
and i walked away, leaving,
no this is not me.

my mirror

in a mirror i see,
whose reflection i once recognized,
an image that thinks more than it talks,
for a smile it wishes to keep on those that sees it.

in this mirror i glance,
whose reflection i fail to read,
a mirage of unspoken thoughts,
counting the days of the end.

in a mirror i stare,
whose reflection i greatly admire,
beneath a hill so high and heavy,
yet it stands straight, slightly bowed.

in this mirror i look,
whose reflection i now question,
of much of the laughter it once had,
now countable, easily recalled.

in a mirror i view,
whose reflection i will remember,
for much of the scars it has on it,
will forever leave a mark.

and in this mirror i now see once more,
a reflection that has grown so much,
yet so little in understanding it,
in this mirror now and for times to come,
will it stay there, growing much,
retaining its looks,
for a memory it never will forget.

a day to remember.

And today is yet another day,

For like any days, today is like every day,

And in these days, nothing seems at bay,

For in these days, it is yet another day.

Tomorrow is a new day,

A day of hope and glimmer,

And one that I look forward,

For a day never like yesterday.

Yesterday was a day,

Like the previous, predictive towards tomorrow,

It was a day I missed,

A day I strived.

Tomorrow yet I believe,

That like many days, this should be different,

In this day, I shall smile,

Smiling for a journey proudly explored.

Yesterday though I know,

It was bitter but bitter sweet,

Like chocolates, every pieces are different,

And so was yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

A day of glistering shine,

A day of overwhelming applause,

A standing ovation,

A day, I await, with hope,

With a determination,

To end this journey.

trust

what is it with trust? a bond that now seems so vulnerable and fragile like a wine glass. shouldn't it be a link that keeps us together for as long as we call it ours? but now, it seems that the word is just a five letter word.  where has its value and its ulterior motives of being true and honest, and mostly, believing gone to, i know not. being fragile is fine, but knowing that once broken, it hurts along the way, that's even sad. how am i then to place this link or bond with someone whom simply do not get what is it with trust. or perhaps i might have been  too demanding and possessive? i know, i am not one to judge my actions in my thoughts as it always ends in me supporting myself but lets seat back and wonder, a friend whom you shared laughs and jokes and even times that you feel so agitated you needed someone to share it. and just then, like a river that flows into the seas, it all flows away not meeting an end, like birds swooping off to the skies aiming wondrously. and the trust you placed, or supposed, assumed, you had, just fades away. and now, i see you like a friend, only to know that the faded never blooms, at least until a wilted flower grows back to life.

to know a person, you need to trust him. to know his personality, you need his trust. and when both connections are made, and you realized that this could be a friend after all, just then, it crashes down. i thank Him, for showing me sooner for i know not what else i would have given if i have not seen this faded pages. i don't find myself guilty, for i know, perhaps it was the trust that somehow elevated what seemed to be building come to halt. again, i do not own this feelings, but what i do is to accept them the way these things are. after all, it would have been alien, if all things come in the same. trust is indeed a word after all. and when you needed to rely to it the most, it turns you down. but of all this, i now know that all things aren't constant, varying in fact. for today, you get a flower, a day or two later, it wilts. and like that,  the trust you have, had, will have, might just fade away.

what is it with trust?