time after time

now it has been quite of a time since i actually blogged. well, there were a lot of things and events took place. not bing able to blog, i was tied down, in fact chained with big thick silver chains to various commitments. semester  ended. it was so quick that i actually did not realise it has. sem 1 in the path of becoming an educatort is just another a mile stone towards another 10 sems to come! well that includes another one year of foundation and continued by 4 years of degree. haiz, i guess this is the price if you really wanna achieve something in this land of mankind~

STPM is choking me up and i could throw up at any moment. the fact is since i got this degree offer, only at the age of 19, when i was in my upper 6, the teachers were saying that it would be better if i could return for the exam. knowing of my performance in school, they tough i had a big advantage as well as a potential in acing them. not to boast, but i guess that is how teachers actually nail you to the chair for another leap of commitment. so i agreed. sem 1 ended on d 19th n i took home. on the 23rd was my first paper. and so far, everything went all well indeed. well, the well as in well not so good and quite bad i would say. after all, this is like any other exam. i mean, knowing that it is some world's 3rd toughest exam and you're doing it with only a week plus of last minute studying, i guess that is an achievement and a compliment! in god's grace, lets hope that i make it through without ending up throwing out! 

both my cousins were engaged and married. well one actually. the other was jus an engagement. their wedding is due next year. happy married life to the other one and happy engaged life to this. now, if this thing is confusing you, let me lay it out to you. cousin A is engaged and married. cousin B is engaged and the marriage will be at the end of next year. marriage is indeed a lifetime commitment. the moment you have the ring fit into the finger of your partner, or the holy string around the neck of your wife-to-be, or the arm to arm twirl to drink the chinese tea or even the oath taken infornt of the tuk kadi is the moment where you realise life will not be the same it used to be. the next moment you know, you will never sleep alone, your closet has two types of clothing (male/female), your plates, dishes, laundry, bills are doubled, and out of the blue, you will also have to start thinking about preparing a cot, little dresses/shirts/pants, diapers and plush toys. (if you know what i mean). but at the end of it, as life will never be the same, marriage is the beginning to a new adventure, thrill and excitement. the pleasure of sharing your bed with someone you know and ought to be your life-long partner, paying your doubled bills and buying little shoes for your little ones, thos are the moments that one can never achieve or able to experience without an oath to commitment and never- ending love.

guys, i have to pen off. tomorrow i'll be having makroekonomi. let's hope shakepeare's quote becomes reality....

"all's well ends well!" 

NO & YES

it is very easy to say a no. you do not have to actually say the word no itself, but..

the things that  you do,
the response that you give,
the attitude you show,
the behaviour you potray...

will actually resemble your no~

sometimes i wonder, is it that difficult to do something out of your will for the good of others. yes you may think that why should you suffer or put yourself in hot soup for another person or another group's sake, but why not?

why not?
is it that painful or difficult?
we are all in the same position, in the same situation, but why is it that it has an exception?
the moment you say you cannot, is the moment where you start to fail. in each of us, theres a potential in us. but that potential will not just bump out automatically. it needs a medium, and its you.
you can do it but you choose not to....
you are capable to perform it but you feel so dependable....
you know the job well but you choose to ignore it..

the question comes to you..

what do you care?
it is my potential and i choose whether to unleash it or not?

but do think of this..

the deeper you lock yourself in that potential supposedly to wait for the perfect time, the harder you shall find it difficult to make it obvious...

sacrificing something for another despite of your own lack of potentials is something that very few are able to do. however those who are able to do it are the ones who has actually unleashed their own potentials.
let it be 1% but the fact is you did what you was told to do. you knew your limits and you went above all. you  knew your incapabilities but you chose to ignore it and put your best forward.that is what i call,

unlocking your potetial....

if one is able to sing and you can only rhyme
if one is able to draw a potrait and you can only draw shapes
if one is able to prepare gourmet dishes and you can only fry eggs
if one is able to write a book and you can only write a paragraph....


never feel small or litlle..because that very small effort you manged to do and show despite knowing that you would not be able to be an artiste, an artist, a chef, and an author is the largest deed and sacrifice you could do without a no~

NO is only for those who believes in their own capabilities and not willing to move an inch further
but
a YES is for those who understands their incapabilities and yet try to do their very best!

i need your smile, laughter & hope

thinking over about the past is something that almost everyone have in common. we think of the what have done. we think of how it caused people to think in the way now. we think of things and of objects. we think of memories and dreams. we think of almost everything.

ironically the past has never thought of us. to it, once pass is passed and thee is no point of re-calling it back. i wonder of people nowadays. they tend to throw the blame or mistake or even failure towards their past. they associate it with ideas or even experiences that has caused the things that they do now which appeared to be not meeting the standards. what has the past got to do with today? yes, i did not say that it could not affect you today, but the context is that why should the past be blamed for one's down?

* silently sits to himself*

people think that they are the most saddest thing, the most unfortunate person, the most unlucky thing that has ever happened to them. they feel that they have been succumbed into a great predicament and the 'credits' were given to the past. people see others as problem-free and happy-go-lucky. they feel that these lucky people are always out of way and never tastes the bitterness in life. they also believe that these people are just so free and are able to do anything they favor. to add more, they sometimes ask themselves or dreamed to be like them.

but the thing that they do not understand god is always fair and just. He knows when to test and when to reward a person. however He is not the topic nor the subject of matter. i believe none in this world does not a have a thought or two about the problems they face. let it be in finances, education, personalities, relationships, responsibilities. anything, but i know and i believe that everyone is this world does not lead a predicament-free life.

but when we ask..

"how come they laugh when i tear?"
"how come they can joke when i can't even laugh?"

"how come they take things as it is when i have too much to handle?"

"how come they are able to take 3 complete meals a day where i barely finish my lunch?"

"how come they know more things when i don't recognize learning or studying or even experiencing them?"

"how come they wake up everyday in the morning with a smile and i all see in the mirror is another typical day?"

"how come they go to bed having sweet wonderful dreams in peaceful sleep where i find it difficult even to sleep?" 

the answer lies within us. it is how we actually perceive these problems. it is how we get rid of this headache and most of all it is how we learn to live and grow with it. surprising it maybe, to actually live and grow with problems but if we take a look at it a little deeper, it is just plain understanding and maturing from the every problem you face. 

why should we tear when these problems are just tests from God. are we afraid to see the reality in life? as a person, we are made and created to have feelings of fear. i do agree, but if we were to be fearful of every challenges in life, then how come we are here today? how come we still survive in this 'living hell'?

why can't we laugh when these problems are haunting us. it has been a universal saying that, laughter is the best medicine. laugh it off, forget it for a day, laugh it loud and you shall see the problems eventually fading away. just laugh from he heart.

why should we feel stress with the too many things to handle? to be able to hold such great responsibilities is something that not everyone can do and yet you have took up the challenge.  so why envy the rest with few work? it is you who will mature more and learn even more.

why must you torture your body with hunger just because you don't feel like eating? you need the energy to think. you need the energy to live. you need the energy for tomorrow as no tomorrows stay the same throughout one's life.

why should you envy those who seems to know everything? you know where you stand and you know how much you have in you and how much more you need to pursue this challenge in life. therefore, stop hesitating, and grasp as much as you need.

why do you see every new day as the same? every new day is a new beginning. it is mark to show that no matter what your problems were, you still could get up the day after and still live. 

why you have sleepless nights when it is the night where the time to take your problems to a new stage. sleep to know that your day will be better tomorrow and not sleep to only see a typical day as any other days.

all in one, it is how we see things the way they are. why think over an over of  your problems where you just need to put a smile, a laughter, a little hope in them? they will help to resolve your problems and they will mature you into a better tougher person in life~

                                   

a day..

it was the last day
a day that was my last
a day that i id farewell
a day that i saw tears inside the heart
a day that i knew them
a day i grew to love them
a day that i would start missing them
a day that i would tear as i re-call them
a day that i have a moment of silence
a day that i know will never end
a day that i know will never fade
a day that i know where hopes were stored
a day that i know that love was spread
a day that i know a friend
a day that i shall not forget
a day that i shall not forget
a day that i shall not forget



*thinking deeply of our times together*

a journey right on course~

a person once said, "to love someone is to give all you have for the person whom you love"
but i say, "to love someone is to know that that particular person loves you too"

people talk about love proudly enough. they distinguish what is sincerity and puppy love. they share all they have, almost all they have with the ones whom they wish to share with, in this case, the person they love. they are willing to do anything.

crossing the widest busy road. swimming across the ocean. hiking up the highest peak in he world. and the tests goes on~ but being in love with someone is to love the person through the heart.what point is it if the person you chose to love ended up loving someone else? true enough, it is not in our heads to think of it, but if love is to give everything you have, why then is it shared? why should love be divided? why must it be broken down to categories? why and why and why?

youths nowadays succumb themselves in this disease but only to find out that a handful of them falls into the voodoos of love: separation. however, to break is of course not the matter. what becomes the point is, why regret the decision? or perhaps why feel sad of what has happened?

not being pessimistic but if a love is meant to last, then it shall prevail but if that love was never meant for us, then everything done to save it will never bring the pieces into one. releasing and letting go whatever we had shared is a task almost impossible, even close to never if the relationship has aged for quite a time, but it is NEVER impossible.

why tear for someone who does not worth for it?
why cut yourself for someone who will not see it anymore?
why still love him/her when he/she does not appreciate it?

girl/boy, you are still a rock star!!
girl/boy, you still have years to come!
girl/boy, the fish is not one, the flower is never one!
girl/boy, get out there and have fun!!!!

to love someone, is to know that both parties are willing to share everything, almost everything
to love someone is to know that both parties understand one another in and out
to love someone is to know that both parties are willing to sacrifice for each other
to love someone is to know that both parties never forgets to say "i love you"
to love someone is to know that both parties love each other despite of anything in between

most of all,

to love someone is to know that both parties are willing to make a change!



children of today,
youngsters of tomorrow,
teenagers to come,

loving someone is like steering the ship in the right course. lock the course headed as to target that one person  you see. set the sails as to set your moves. maintain the wheel of the ship so that it is in the right course as to make sure you love that person sincerely without any intentions. look out for ice boulders or rocks or even rough winds and tides to make sure your ship and her passengers are safe as to see to any conflicts that may rise and resolving them to bond you relationship even closer. lastly get your passengers save to ground and take a deep breath of relief after a huge responsibility as to keep your partner safe of every negative thoughts and beliefs. in that way your ship is always open for a new set of passengers and a new course whereas your love is always ready to live another life long journey together with that lucky person~

the fruit to choose

a friend is need is a friend in deed. what crosses you each time you see a person whom you know very well. a person whom you understand well enough, well enough to say at least. a person whom you realise that he or she will be there for you when you need him or her~

however sometimes we wonder..
how come we don't really know the particular person?
how come we fail to understand the person well enough, even as well as to talk about him/her?
how come we do not see him/her when we need them?

and so, as questions fill us, who is it to be blamed?

is it us who failed to ask more about that person?
is it us who was over confident with that relationship knowing that we know enough?
is it us who actually lost in the battle to keep up the relationship?

now and then, we see groups of people hanging out at the bowling alleys, grooving at the pubs, laughing over starbucks, screaming at karaoke sessions, and sharpening the wooden sticks (don't know what is it called) at snooker centers. we see them and what do we perceive?

FRIENDS

a friend once said "i don't believe in friendship"
"they never last"
"they share your laughter"
"but only to leave when the joke's over"

how come this happens when these people are actually called friends? what value does the word has? has the word dropped to such a level in which people sometimes laugh over the word and even mock about it. pessimistic you may say, but to one extend, i believe that that very friend of mine knows best. why laugh when you only know how to run? why joke when you do not laugh forever? why share secrets when you don't even intend to respect them?

the word has so much been humiliated. poor thing to the creator of these words! it is sad to get to know that the person you once trust was the person whom broke the trust. it is painful to get to know that your backstabber is the person you never will back stab. it is even more hurtful to get to know that that person is embarrassed with all that you both went through. 

but getting back to the point, the question that hunts us; "why?" we can only assume and draw conclusions to our own justification. the probability of getting to know the reason would somehow draw different drawbacks. at the end of the day, it us whom we  ourselves can blame.

"maybe it is me who thought i knew all about the person"
"maybe it is me who chose the wrong person to be linked"

"maybe it is me who always wanted more, not knowing the boundaries and limits to it"

we can only assume.

we can only suggest.

we can only think.

but we can never decide which is which.

to everyone out there, picking a friend is like picking a fruit. you see whether the fruit is ripe, similarly you see whether the person is comfortable with you. you feel the outer texture of the fruit to see whether it is soft or hard or just nice, similarly you see whether the person  fits you in most aspects you look into.you weigh the fruit in one hand to see whether is it ready to be eaten, similarly you see a person whether he or she understands and respects and after all that evaluation, you buy the fruit, similarly  you pick the person to be your friend.

 

 

perception,stereotypes,"self thoughts"

this little post is dedicated to whomever who reads this very post of course. it is also for those who seems to disgrace another in the topic of gender. it is for those who are stereotypes in cases regarding gender. but most of all this piece of message is dedicated to you people out there who thinks, describes, treats another person with th opposite gender qualities.

it all began wit the nick 'su'

a special friend decided to call him 'su' instead of his name as it was considered/ supposedly to be too long for them to pronounce, but i think it was not that long, i mean, a six letter name don't appear to be too long. however i grew to accept it.i grew to like it. growing to have fun wit a new nick, it had been a new start of a new episode. but soon, people both new and old begun questioning and judging this very nick.

" 'su' is sissy"
" 'su' is a girl's name"
" why did you put such a name?"
"i thought it was a girl, until you showed up"
"i was searching for a girl named 'su' until he said it's u"
" suresh sounds masculine, su sounds feminine"


and that was there the legend begun and tales unfolded, making everyone having a thought or two of a particular perception in which boys will be boys and girls will stay girls...

the debate of such perception has always been on one side. they go on to maintain the perception in that what is a girl's should not be a boy's and the other way round. the questions that these few people tend to ask but only to appear silent was never asked, but when asked, it is only to be outnumbered  by responses, answers, comments and glares. the point here is, why not?

ask yourself, why can't she do what he does?
ask yourself, why can't he have a name of what one calls to be feminine?

the answer lies within us. it is how you accept things as they are. it is how your perceive things as they are. but of all, the ultimate statement goes to perception of the people and how great do they spread their ideologies of self thoughts to others, influencing these minds making them to eventually grow and then pass on these 'self thought' thoughts.

people believe in things not just because they know that they should believe but because they must believe in order to be believed by the people themselves. however some appear to have thoughts of their own and those that contradict the majority are always justified. in the end, it is either they stand in their own beliefs or fall to the perception of the people. the power of numbers is indeed very influential but why not stand for your beliefs? why not fight for it? why not stay strong to it?

is it wrong to behave what the others do not?
is it wrong to be what the others are not?  
is it wrong to have a name whom the owner himself/herself approves but not the others?

at the end of the day, perception of the others still regain the thrones in everyone. almost everyone. but today, this very moment i say that no matter what you do or say or even act, we do not live for your eyes, thoughts, and minds. we live for the pride of our own. we live for the dignity that we hold. and on top of all that, we live for own selves and only ourselves.

sadly..

the debate of perception,stereotypes, and the "self thoughts" continues.....

when the star moves further and further

got up early this morning to catch the train...got all dressed up and left.....mum was driving n my smaller sis followed~ huhu~ so we reached the station n they were like many others there...parents sending children...friend bidding farewell...relatives wishing all the best and have a safe journey....at 9.40 ++ the train reached and we boarded...we reached kl about 2.15pm and from there i got a cab straight to my hostel....well that cab cost me RM13!!!! =.= anyway, i was glad to reach here....saw my friends and "HEY"!!!!!! haha~ so i unpacked, took my bath n started cleaning up my table..(2 weeks definately leaves u alot of "stuff" everywhere).....n slowly out of nowhere i felt this......


it was this very funny feeling. it was quite strange and rather peculiar. i thought of this very feeling. i sat and thought about it. thinking, i realised that i missed home. 8 hours ago, i woke up in my very home. feeling nothing, i was normal. packing up the last few things needed in the journey...and now i feel rather strange...


i feel empty.
nothing.
just me, my room, my stuffs, and of course my roommate.


however, having this thought of "is it really true that i miss home?" i thought of the 2 months i was here before this semester break. i was feeling just alright. i was feeling..me..i had never felt such.. emptiness.......


but now,i see the power of home. i respect its might. of course it does not mean that i have had disrespected or disowned that very home but it is just that i have come to a greater sense of it.  the home was the place u first learned your first words "mama" & "papa" . the home was the place u started crawling. its the home where you had your mother-child bath. the home was the place u actually stood up on your own feet n trotted slowly with your mother/father/guardian holding you hands. it is the home where you learned your own mother tongue. it is the home where you were taught how to ride the tricycle (the three-wheeled baby bicycle). the home was the place u first started your education...n the home was the place you was taught lessons in life...


for so much power and grace that this very brick structure has in all of us, why do we hear people saying 


"my home is a living hell"


"i hate going back home"

"whats so great about it!!"


if only they had sat back and thought of how is home spelled and of how has it brought us up..sheltering us from the scorching sun and the heavy downpours. but i believe that the more you actually hate your home, the closer you are to be left alone among the very stars in your life..and these stars only stand for four letters....

H.O.M.E.

*i feel much better now and i guess i'm off to update my facebook!!*  ^.^

RAWR!!!

heyya ppl! im bck!! back to my hostel!!  huhu~

bck to hostel means bck to updating this blog more often!! ^>^

~home sweet home~

                     

<== this HOT guy is          

        back!! to his  

        hometown, the 

        beautiful, serene,

        TAIPING!!!!!!

        

10 goodbyes 4 u!

10 goodbyes to all of u...
for 10 days i shall  b away.....
to putrajaya, thats where we're supposed to go,

to do some human graphic thing..

10 goodbyes to all of u...
dunt miss me for this 10 days...
for i wunt b able to blog nor online~
makesure u MISS me!!!!


GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD  BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

GOOD BYE

10 GOODBYES FOR ALL OF YOU!!

this guy n me!

the following was a conversation between a 13 years old and a 19 years old guy~ ^^

note: the 13 years old is a friend of mine~ ^^
        the 19 years old person is me of course~ ^.^

so here it went........
13 yers old: so u gt gf?

19 yers old: me? haha..u guess leh?

13 yers old: got alot

19 yers old: haha, y leh?

13 yers old: duno

13 yers old: seems like that

13 yers old: that type tht got alot gf

sitting back in the present glancing into the past...

being here in a whole new place, i see a lot of things. making new friends and joking with them was what i usually do. strutting and fretting my days upon the hours of my everyday life has become a norm to me. but at one time, at one moment, at that very second, i recall of my past. i re-image of my memories of being in a school that has never brought me fear nor discomfort. slowly through the window, i see what i once was and i wonder what i would be become of then.


1. the karaoke session we had in ts. screaming and shouting and yelling through the not-so-good mike. back then it was me, jin, kok weng, najwa, ash, izaty, alif, zhafran,rahim, firdaus n faiz.....we came about songs that actualy some of them touched me leaving me behind the idea of what a true friendship could actually mean. Aerosmith's I don't wanna miss a thing and Samson's Kenangan Terindah were the two melodies of once in a life time that i would actually hear. in fact it would be the first and the last i could actually. nevertheless i hope it would not end! 


2. the library of sgi. being the president, brought me to a new level in life. the jokes that i made with them. always calling wan chuin n bee theng to clean the library, the tricks i taught my juniors. teaching joshua loke on how to clean the books during kebersihan. the rules that i did not actually practised leaving my juniors out of hand but under my eyes. junn lim, chung, mien yuen, han seong, n those fellas used to mingle in the office library, in the counters..the meetings i keep n me being the only voice heard across the four walls. those times were truly a treasure of a life time and it would be a moment of love, friendship, love, compassion and laughter.


3. the cinemas, the cafes, n the lakes. now and then, having a car and motor license granted me the advantage of zooming here and there with a myvi n c70. the gate was a popular spot. i brought many new comers like junn lim, chung, mien yuen n nicholas.....i introduced to my great bm teacher, pn zura n my fellow malay debate mates...my besties n those people always in mind and in heart; kalai, shariza, wy, azim and countless more..the panorama, the place for the best ice cream in town..the largest ie cream v had but wasted..me, junn lim, chung and nicholas were so full that we left almost 3/4 of it there..lucky for them, i had the bill settled. the movies that we went together.....the jokes and laughter in the cinemas with dinesh, sharizal, kalai, yen, azim, wy, junn lim, jin, nicholas, chung, mien yuen, zhafran, kok weng, alif, izaty, najwa n those beautiful-hearted people.....the lake gardens, where me kalai, sharizal and wy had our fashion photoshoot...bearing in mind that it was like 2am!! v did crazy stuffs, walking to buy burgers at a nearby stall, and snapping pictures all the way round. indeed it was a true moment of enjoyment and bonding.


4. classes and school and projects....lazying around in class in my last years were full time job..the battle between izaty and ash over me never leaves my head...the scandals spread of me and jin was fun!          
the mouth war with xian yung...the high pitched laughs...fooling around with fathil, arvind, roshan, and dinesh made my schooling days a whole lot fun...the bendera n posters i used to help y arts teacher complete for sports day...the times of me being a referee for basketball during PJ's...emcee-ing the installation night of the interact club.....organizing, performing and decorating in a concert that turned out to be the most succesful concerts ever held in the history of sgi as said by the teachers.....battling over miss 3Y made me think that some how or rather in life, nothing leaves us smooth through out the journey....and those were the few moments of my life that changed the self that i am now, that matured me in all ways that brought me close to what we perceive as a person...to what i call someone beautiful and someone who lives a life!

back to where i am now, i always wondered maybe one day i could actually go through all them repeatedly. like a video tape, i will never dispose nor even put them aside. to the god i pray, to the angels who watch over me, hear me say;

"may what i have went through never be the same in my days to come, may my days to come be better than my yesterdays, may my yesterdays be an everlasting-non-fading jewel, may my tomorrows always be a surprise of wonderful things.




*susu is now going to continue completing his assignment feeling a whole lot much better to let go off such thoughts in mind*

sealed lips now with a slit!!!

the day was beautifully fine. everything was jus so fine. in the morning, no lecturer!! yay! mr mohana called n said he had observation in school n couldnt attend, so we were like..ARGHHHH 

so everyone was like laughin n foolin around~ ^^ wakakakaakaka.......making fun of our NUN n fellow mates were my normal routine..hey! its not tht i mock them or wat, bt it is u noe a way of talking, n everyon is comfortable wit it, infact those hu gets it frm me do laugh about it to..so wats d big deal..i mean life is suppose to be about tht ryte?

anyway, lets go on...so we were in class..n the lecturer was AGAIN late....hehe..well..i guess this is kinda normal~ lol! ^^ so as usual la..perangai budak2!! 

* CAKAP CAKAP CAKAP CAKAP CAKAP!!!!!!*

out of the blue, SUMONE said this...

"kajian saintifik mengatakan sekiranya tangan kita lebih besar daripada muka kita, kemungkinan besar kita akan mendapat barah"

n i was so into it, n was like..
"yeker?"

n so this PERSON told me to try la....(mind you, u may noe wat mite happen next, but i mmg dunt noe!!)

so aku pun letak tangan aku kat muka aku....n as i was like tryin to  weather is my hand really bigger than my face......

*bamm!*

THAT IDIOT HIT ME ON THE FACE WIT MY HAND ON MY FACE!!! I WAS LIKE SO SHOCKED N COULDNT SAY A WORD...I JUZ DIN EXPECT A PERSON LIKE THA COULD ACTUALLY DO THAT.......A JOKE IS A JOKE...BUT U HAV UR LIMITS.....I DO JOKE WIT EVERYONE BUT MIND YOU I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED ANYONE CAUSING PAIN!! I JUZ GOT REALLY IRRITATED AND ANNOYED!

back then i did nt notice wat was happening on my lips..so i was ok  ok la~ ^^ so i int talk to tht person...din rely his "hye suresh"...din do anything to him..i juz kept quiet.....wats d point raising my voice or fighting? fightings r juz for uncivilized beings! so i chose to walk away....so as classes ended i went to the toilet...n there i saw him again...god me!!!! "hye suresh" ....SILENCE....when i was done...while washing my hands~ i looked at the mirror.....

THERE IT WAS!!!! A SMALL CUT IN THE CENTER OF MY LOWER LIPS! GOD! I GOT EVEN MORE FURIOUS!!!!!!!! 

U MADE A WOUND N MY LIPS N YOU'RE JUZ ACTING "HYE SURESH" WITHOUT EVEN A SIMPLE APOLOGY?!!!

OK FINE...u'll tink this much fuss for a sall cut? wel let me tell you something....everything comes in a limit..n when tht line is crossed no matter how cool you can be, being furious and unsatisfied is wat sumone wud usually feel n behave.......nevertheless, as i dunt engage in fights  or wat....so thts it....

NOT A SINGLE WORD IS GOING TO BE SAID TO HIM! AT LEAST UNTIL MY LIPS HEAL.....



CALL ME SENSITIVE OR ANYTIN, I DUNT MIND, COZ ITS ME TASTING BLOOD, ITS ME FEEING THE NUMBNESS ON MY LIPS N ITS ME GOING THRU IT.....

~aku sensitif ?~

^.^

=.=

ishk!!!

in approximately 1 hour 57minutes, our current supply will  b out till the next day at 7am!!!!!!!! duno for wat reason!!!!!!!




* brought to you by susu for STUPIDTV.COM at 9.03pm*
 

UNITED STATES of AMERICA

I'M CRAZIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Story of The Pencil

i started reading this book here in this college....surprisingly i TOOK like omg!!er almost 2 weeks!!! to finish a 245-paged book..hehe..erm...well, i realy wanted to read smtg to burn time..u noe la....hehe..when ure broke, u juz HAV to sit in the hostel nt moving around..wakakakakaka...! so as i was reading i found this story tht really attrated me n i really luved the way it was told! ^^ so here, i let u hav a picture of hw i actually felt when i  read the story~ ^^

tht was the book~ ^^ by Paulo Coelho~ ^^ a Brazilian author! ^^
n here is one of his writings....

The Story of The Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked, "are you writing a story about what we've done? is it a story about me?". His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson, "I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I'm using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up". Intrigue, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special. "But it's just like any other pencil I've ever seen!" Smilingly, his grandmother replied, "That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world" She continued,

"First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will."

"Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little but afterwards, he's much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because thy will  make you a better person."

"Third quality: the pencil always allow us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing. It helps to keep us on the road to justice"

"Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So, always pay attention to what is happening inside you."

"Finally, the pencil's fifth quality: It always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will always leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action."

**this beautiful tale is dedicated to everyone out there hu sees life useless, a failure, problematic, n feels that every problem n conflicts always mingle around them.....

but most of all, i specially dedicate this piece of art to the following people based on wat v hav shared! ^^

1) the laughing penang "FRENCH FRIES"

2) the taiping assistant creative director!

english is F...!!!!

well, mind u, the F letter there does nt stand for THAT word ya~ ^^
it plainly stands for a 3 letter word tht spells F.U.N. ^^ 

haha..was feeling bored n so i decided to blog a lil~ lately i kinda find tht blogging is fun indeed, i mean, lets replace the word 'fun'  wit 'addicting'...wakaka...nw i tink tht sounds beta~ haha~

so back to the title of this post....it was tht very one day where v had combined classes for a short  briefing..it was 2 classes...n s the lecturers were talkin in front...shortly after tht, v were told to form grups n come out wit a perceiving activity...well the term itself confuses us a lil...lol..in other words, its like doing smtg tht the class will perceive it without us delivering the message/idea directly....example: a student comes forward n does sum action, n we r supposed to tell wat is he tryin to imitate or do....

basically its an activity to show hw creative v can b n how critical the  mind can b in guessin or perceiving ideas~  ^^
so in my grup, we were kinda clueless~ ^^
sum came up wit ideas of doing like...rr...well...everyone was clueless~ so finaly we came up wit the idea of wrtting a poem~ ^^
n so, after d 15 min work..this was wat i came up with~
i wrote a simple poem...n guys, i wan u al to actually tell me wat is it about k? ^^
hint: WYRIWYG (What You Read Is What You Get) huhu....
n this is hw it begins..

a walk in the garden

lovely tulips

red blossoms

a basket in hand

to the garden she strolls

picking daisies and

glory roses

carnations a bouquet

a whole bunch of them

on the pebbles and gravels

she tip toes

the basket in hand

accompanied by blue butterflies

to home she heads

to the frame on the cabinet

to her she offers them

her lovely late mother.             

y believe when u can trust..

mmm...
i was chatin wit a great person..
n all of a sudden v came  out wit this topic of believin one another~
n hell yeah!!

according to her...
believe..
the word itself contains the word LIE
n she proposed the word trust instead~

to a point i do find it quite true...i guess humans can indeed tink creatively bt somehow it does make sense~ lie in believe! ^^
still i believe tht the creativity of creating words n making sense of it lies in the person itself~

if the brand FCUK is the acronym for French Connection bt smtimes mistakened as F***
n DiET can actually b DIE minus d T...

wat else can v create? n wat else can b made sense off?

the believe is in us n the trust is within us....

to my dearest person there...^^ read this...

THE BELIEVE IS IN US N THE TRUST IS WITHIN US



^.^

to respect is to love

it was a dull gloomy day...it has just rained. the air was still humid n the wind was whistling softly...in fact it was a friday~ n being hee for almost a month n 2 weeks, i go to temples weekly to pray to ask for assistance n to ask for hope~ ^^

n so toda was like any other fridays~ took d lrt str8 to pasar seni n walked about 15 mins  n thee i reached the temple...to those hu noes~ its a ganesha temple~ ^^

haha..hmm..so aftr praying n spending some time there, i went hoe~ gosh it was raining` n luckily in god's grace i brought an umbrella~ so s i was waking under the shade of the umbrella, walking thru the rain, passing petaling street, i saw this white couple looking thru a map~

n i guessed they were looking for sum place....approaching them i told myself "plz dunt ask me, plz dunt ask me.." well thts bcoz im not a new person here myself..hu noes if they were to ask sum hotel n i will b like.."er....hehe..arghhh" 

guess u gt my point! ^^

n as i pased them,

"excuse me, pasar seni station?"

*arghhhhh* 

so i was like..ow ok! pasar seni station, juz the place i was going to head  back to hostel...

"er, you can folo me sir, im going htere too.." ^^

(sopan kan aku?)

so we were walking...i was wit my umbrella, n they were without any~ bt it was juz drizzles la..so i guess it was ok~ at one time i wanted to offer mine to the lafy~ ( mind u, shes pretty hot!) *winks* but a hot lady always gets a hot guy, n so , hahaha~ well i kept it to myself~ lol! so we were walking~ erm for about 5 mins~ haha...

so whe v reached d station the guy was like "thank you" it this bow...the bow tht indians do to welcome sumone....u noe? the vanakkam sign? ^^...fine! heres a picture of it~ ==

n ya, he made this bow, n i was like, oh ok~ i mean i didnt really notice the reason for him doing so, n so i bowed my head sightly showin gratitude..n we went our own ways~ ^^

so i came back, reached my hostel, went up to my room n wanted to get a bath...when i went to the mirror, i realised i had this red n yellow ash on my forehead, ( the ones indian put on their forehead as a religious symbol), i mean i din actually realised coz i usualy put it whenever i pray u c..so it wa snormal..n then at tht moment, i remembered the white couple, the guy hu did the vanakkam bow to me...he aw my forehead n realised tht i was an indian n perhaps juz frm a temple.....

i realised tht the culture n tradition of a certain society is actually the true symbol of identity of a person, knowing n practicing the norms of our fore fathers has been a generation-to-generation-custom-pass-over.

it is an honour to actually practise them without havinthe sense of being looked as an outsider or even 'unusual'...people hav this idea in which the norms tht they practised which were traditions of their elders were sum sort of an unusualness. adding the fact tht nowadays most youngsters especially dunt really follow n practise the norms their parents n grandparents usually practise....

 i admit tht i myself dunt really practise the norms my grandparents hav done b4 but to actually hav at least 10% in u has proven tht people  actually recognize hu u r~

hw wud a white man could noe tht the vanakkam is a symbol to welcome, thank sumone politely n even bididng farewell at times? the same goes to us...hw did v get the idea of hand shaking is to show agreement between two parties, to say hello, or even thanking sumone professionally?

i guess the answer lies in the culture that we are n hav assimilated in...people tend to learn another culture to respect n to show love...i believe that sumtimes in a foreign land where none speaks ur languae nor understand u...the only communication tool is culture itself....

raise ur hands n wave a litte wit a "hello" to grab attention....
use thumbs to point n show direction as to ask for them as well...

smile to show welcomeness, gratitude, and even making new frens...
hand shake to thank...
wave ur hands to bid farewell....

these r the simple way of a beautiful practice in this universal culture....
it is the norm tht v learn n the practise we adhere to tht people actually learn them to b apart of one of us so tht they dunt feel left out n tht  we dunt feel uncomfortable being in this presence.....

for the case of the white guy, i truly appreciated wat he did n respected him for hu he was...we grow up wit various culture among us...wit various practices and ideas,  bt at the end, as a citizen, moreover as a malaysian it is our task n our duty to follow our fore fathers to learn their ways of life...of coz to assimilate them 100% in or lives today is quite impossible as ways of life chnge thru time...however knowing basic culture is one simply foundation to maintain a pinch of our culture....

afterall, to respect our culture is one way to show our love...
i mean  u may hav 10% of it, bt the respect there n the luv will come along...
the more u hav the more u gain..

culture is indeed the way of life! ^^

  

the paint n painting..

at times being juz a paint is a relaxing, happy-go-lucky process in which v actually depend on the brush, the pastels, the paper, n most of the techniques to create the painting....

it is used only when needed or when we are attracted towards it and at certain conditions, it actually acts as a substitute...however the feeling or sense o being in such a "used" state can b intimidating or even discriminating as well as unfairness..but the fact is, it actually puts these paints out of thoughts, opinions and even assumptions.


the irony here is that a painter actually depends on the pastels, brushes and most of the time the paint itself as in the array of colours. however in such circumstances, when the irony itself acts as general statement, unsupported and unbacked-up, ppl fund these normal...

i wonder, when these ingredients actually r the main essences of creating a master piece, hw come n why do they actually act in a "calm" n not feeling the sense or the urge to actually be a part of the master piece leaving the entire headache to the painter itself. it was created for a purpose....
the brushes to spread the colours..
the paper being the foundation to every master piece....
the pastels being the vibrant essences..
the pastes being the added ingredient....
the techniques used as d X-factor of a particular idea....

n of so much they could offer, why juz act as it is...

the brush as the brush
the paper as the paper
the pastel as the pastel
the paste as the paste
the technique as the technique

i wonder~
i ask...is it a sense of dependency or mayb the feeling of being put aside or perhaps the idea of fear being not accepted due to factors of immaturity or 
inferiority?
i wonder~


tho it will actually be an advantage n as a stepping stone to the painter of distributing ideas, perceptions n tasks as in telling the brushes wat to paint n where to paint, telling the paints wat type muz b used n when.....at tims, being a painter tires u.....

it annoys u of being the sole-thinker
it irritates u of being a "whole-dictator"
it dissapoints u of being hu u r n wat u cud bcum of when everything is one..


still, this is juz the ideology n living fact of hw today's ingredients could actually be.....

dependency and selfishness~

solemn, deep thinking~~~

luv ya!

I LUV KAY ELLE!! ^^

when a caterpillar transform into a butterfly~

in a few hours time~ i will b leavin this place~ a place where i was born, grew up n n now leaving!
i learnt alot from everyone of u tht came into my life in this past 19 yers of living~
not only the good things but the naughty things too~ wooT! ^^

people say the greatest gift on earth is luv but i'd say its the people around us~
they mock u, they talk bout u, they laugh at u, n they spit on u,
similarly,
they praise u, they compliment u, they share their jokes n laughter, n they look up to u for any probs~
it is this people whom v call HUMAN r the ones tht actually tell us this;


"when v r juz a little egg, our parents nurture us n bring us up, n then when v strt the life as a caterpillar, v face dangers, meet new things around us, share the same tree wit other kinds, n grow up becumin a matured yet self respected caterpillar, and so, when it is the time to take tht very one step ahead of us, v risk time, money, energy, n all tht v hav to support us, therefore transforming into an amazing butterfly. a creature as beautiful as one can ever be. a creature tht has walked the dangerous paths. a creature who knows wat is life cycle all bout! a creature whom we call HUMAN"

my dear frens~

it has been a blastful time~
it has been a great experience~
it has indeed been a wonderful memory~

for wat u hav shown n given me,
i shall not forget hu u r~
n the very moment i land my feet onto this path of pebbles  which we call the place of ever lasting peace,
its gona b PARTIES, CELEBRATIONS, REMINISCING THOSE OLD GOOD TIMES~


PRAY FOR ME~ N LET GOD BLESS U WIT MY PRAYERS~

 

sad

i am sad

i am sad to leave you behind

i am sad to say goodbye

i am sad to miss the meetings

i am sad to miss the laughter

i am sad to miss the jokes

i am sad to miss the joy

i am sad to miss the outings

i am sad to miss the shouting

i am sad to let it all go

i am sad to keep it as a memory

i am sad.

but 3 i promise

i promise never to forget you

i promise never to loose contact

i promise never to tear as i leave

i promise.

to fail or not to fail~

a few of my juniors n me went n watched karate kid last sun~ ^^

n in tht movie~ i really liked the lesson portrayed!!

WHEN LIFE TURNS YOU DOWN, WE CHOOSE WHETHER TO MOVE ON OR TO STAY AT THAT POSITION~


(well i kinda forget the exact words bt its d same meaning la)


^^

telima kaseh ya tuhanku~

olla, im back!! lol~
hmm~ wel, this tyme i hav OVERWHELMING news for all of u~ hehe~
after like bout 1 yer plus wait, i finally got  it!! ^^
guess wat?!! ^^

TAHNIAH!

Anda berjaya di tawarkan untuk mengikuti Kursus Perguruan Lepasan Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (KPLSPM) Ambilan Jun 2010. Berikut adalah maklumat tawaran tersebut :-

No. Kad Pengenalan :  910206085357 Nama : SURESH LIM KENG LEONG Program : S050E0000P - PENGAJARAN BAHASA INGGERIS SEBAGAI BAHASA KEDUA PENDIDIKAN RENDAH (SJKC) Institut Perguruan : W04 - IPGM KAMPUS BAH. ANTARABANGSA     LEMBAH PANTAI-59200     WP KUALA LUMPUR  Tarikh Lapor Diri : 28 Jun 2010 (Isnin).

yup~ thts it!! i finally got a place in a maktab!!! haha~ bt hey, its nt jus any makab, bt this one i heard, its involving with twining programmes especially for TESL courses~ woohoo!! ^^

KUALA LUMPUR here i come!!!

well~ another part of it, im gonna miss evryone here in tpg!!!! T.T
my library~ my juniors~ my frens~ my teachers~ n many many many many many many many more!! ^^

T.T

a fren of mine told me tht once im away, ther person will find it extra dificult to continue movin on~ bt hey, hw heavy i feel to leave, time waits for no man, n d cycle needs to go on~ wether v like or not~


i saw karate kid last sunday~ n i learnt this~ VERY TRUE~~~

bt i will post it in my next post~! ^^


haha~